nerdy bookworm on the loose!

i cant wait to start reading again
start right after the exams
indulge myself in romances aplenty
get away with hope elusive in reality
maybe start a Twilight marathon
or walk the fields with Jane Austen
or make love with Nick Sparks
whatever it is
my intellect is thirsty
and looking at situations around me
this is a MESTI!

for the love of books,
in hidden corners and nooks
where there are no spooks
this girl would be with them kooks
oh how lovely she looks
with all of them books.

this girl doesnt need you
she has charming Mr. Darcy!
*pfft*

days gone wrong

its been an awful day
nothing went my way
everything gone astray
much to my dismay
i’ve no words left to say
only the price of hurt to pay

wish i could say more,
and speak from my core.

most ordinary message

Dear Beloved,

i mean not to
lash out at you
i just dont understand
all your demands
you tell me do this
you tell me do that
make up your mind
and give me a sign
told me not raise my voice
you left me no choice
you made the snap judgments
so i bring the arguments
be calm and patient
just hear me out, listen
dont jump at me
for things you dont see
and id do the same
so then its fair game
i feel bad feeling this way
saying things i really shouldnt say
but im really frustrated
of all the things you’ve uttered
you say you’re no bigot
or maybe you forgot
all the snide remarks you made
i wish it would all just fade

i love you so much
with hugs kisses and such
but please be patient with me?
it’ll make a great difference you’d see
i may not tell you things
in time you’d understand my meaning
lets not rush in the words we say
but pause and think before we spray
funny thing is i write this anonymously
i daren’t confront you so outrageously
for in fear of upsetting you
and spilling bucket of tears or two
so hey, if you know who im talking about
help me clear my doubt?

love you lots,
Your Girl.

ps: some lines or words were mere rhyming purposes.

Catechists Goes Bollywood!

for this post, i’ll let the pictures do the talking =)

all in all,
it was a good night =)

This girl turned Indian for a day
ended the night
with a Strawberries & Cream lollipop
and a Gin & Tonic to boot =)

for more pictures or videos, please visit these links:

Facebook –or- Multiply
SIC Bollywood Dance
I've Been A Shot-A Skit (Indian Remix)

do you read my blog? =P

if i didnt know better
id say you read my blog
quoting from my very words
and using it upon me

i really dont mind
go ahead if you please
after all, it is a public blog
for anyone to read

but if you could, just once
do me a small favor
own up to it, wont you?
it would give me foresight

it doesnt mean id mince my words
nor censor its content
it wouldnt stop me writing of you
i write what i wish

its just so i could explain
certain bits to you
cause maybe just maybe
”you’re so vain” applies to you

yes, i speak my mind and heart
of things past present future
its my only way of dealing
my drug for being happy

so yes,
no worries about it
keep on reading
i dont mind
just dont take things to heart okay?
some things are just outbursts
have fun reading anyway =P

maybe this is all a figment of my imagination?
my own judgmental suspicious speculation?
well, being safe is better than sorry right?

Obedience; her story.

the touch on her skin
left her to flinch
in desire and distaste
of what was and of now

leave her in the dark
after the puppetry’s worn off
its all just the same
to use with such disdain

emotionally unraveled
of another she becomes
be it a seductress
or depression here she comes

the same thing happens
all over again
again and again
she lets it just the same

of them she disliked
they showed no respect, only pride
of you she disagreed
for love for you made it free

so tell me now
how you guys do it?
have you no emotions?
no senses whatso?
to treat a girl like that?
and change her completely?

leave her hanging by the thread
waiting your commands
playing with her feelings
her mind and her head
does what is told of her
the old her gone
new temptress is in
Obedience is her name.

100 million kisses

i lie on my back with a sigh
my back arched in ecstasy
hair’s in the sexiest mess
fingers reaching grasping
for anything to hang onto
just to get a sense of reality
we’ve been at it for hours
and i still cant get enough
lips crimson and swollen
a trace of each desirable kiss
just thinking renders me weak
pausing to catch my breath
just a moment so soon
your lips are crushed to mine
pulling me close, you envelop me
our fingers entangled
and lips in a hurried frenzy
i feel the chill in my spine
the goose bumps on my skin
stealing of my heart
the biting of the flesh
and everything in between
then becomes a blur
cause all im thinking of now
is just you and me
and a hundred million kisses.

kiss me and leave me breathless
nothing else but kisses
rest assured, i will find you one day
and you will kiss me senseless.

My Lord reigns!

today was one of those days
the poker face was shown
of all those around me
to whom things were unknown

i got lost in the thoughts within my mind
stirring up feelings i had long forgotten
i question God all the same
wondering if i had been forsaken?

surprises of surprises
He takes me unaware
send me angels in the form of friends
to show me of His care

teasing me nonetheless
of how i could have questioned
teaching me patience
of no worries, no need to mention

chuckling with delight
i stare in amazement
everything He does around me
was for my own betterment

He never fails me
not even once
every time i falter
from the depths i bounce

through His love and support
i know why I live
of friends and family
through whom i breathe

so thank You Lord
for giving me life
teaching me to live
with each and every strive
i know now my Saviour
its You whom i desire
let me never forget
that You never forsake
that through You alone
will i find my zone =)

I love you my Lord,
forever and ever
XOXO

what goes around comes back around

dont get her wrong, she didnt expect it
she never meant for things to be this way
funny how love spirals things out of control
turn friendship into expectations of so much more
opening cans of sad hurt worms swimming in heartbreak

she loves herself when talking to you
the attention and motivation you give
makes her into the her she wants to be
the her she needs to be
giving her a new fresh look on life
living each day at a time, loving it

you know how they say?
find not someone whom you love
that wants to change you
but find one who loves you
for who you are just as you are
your that to her

the only problem
with this whole equation is
you’re just a friend to her
nothing more nothing less
and that honestly, sucks balls
trust her, she should know it
she’s in his position with another.

and with that, she offers you
an apology and her friendship
with many more fun years to come.

off with her…hair!

*before & after shots*

i did it once before
i did again this time
for the same reason too
as i had for the previous
in hopes that with the hair
i threw the rest as well
a brand new start
to refresh myself anew

missing my long hair though =(
havent been in the mood to camwhore.

“tell me,” you said.

i cant see past your eyes
to speak the words in my heart
i wanna scream my lungs out
beat your arm
and cry into your chest
just hoping that you’d pull me in
despite breaking my heart
with being just friends
but instead
you’ve got me floating
high above the clouds
smiling my worries away
in want of your hands in mine
and with that
you’ve got not only my tongue
but my heart as well

so the next time you ask me
if i’ve got anything to say
look and walk away first
then maybe, just maybe
i’d find the courage
to pour my heart out.

when will i ever get over you?! =(

truth hurts

  “if you ask me if i love him, i’d lie.”
-I’d Lie by Taylor Swift

frustrating!

its so frustrating
when a friend is in need
and doesnt turn to you for support
asks advice from everyone else
who doesnt know head or tail
about what happened
only to make things worse

its times like these
when i dont like people
how people can just judge others
based on one side of the story
instead of being supportive
and giving constructive criticism
and trying to look at the brighter more positive side
to make things as best as possible
they tear the situation into pieces
pointing fingers and putting blame

yes, people may do wrong things
nobody is perfect or flawless
everyone is at blame for one thing or another
but i still believe people are capable of good things
or else the world would be too dreadful to bear

maybe im being too soft
maybe im too much of a pushover
maybe i dont understand the reality of the situation
but hey, why stir up more hurt
when you can smooth things over?!

forget it,
its not even my business to start with
i’ve said and reassured all i can
from now on
its their’s to deal with,
just know that i love them

brokenhearted much?

let me tell you a story
of the in between
a girl met a boy
the rest is history

she kept it secret
her feelings for him
he kept it secret
he knew it all along

nothing was said
nothing transpired
friendship grew stronger
til she took it no longer

cowardly sent a message
confessing her desires
asking for forgiveness
forgetting much needed

he called her up
asking to talk
face2face is better
to delve it all out

as he spoke the words
she dreaded to hear
a smile with a laugh
she smoothed things over

little did he know
her heart broke within
shattered to a million
but heck, it was over

now piece by piece
she picks herself up
trying to forget him
but failing just the same

they still meet and talk
everything was as it was
how he felt how she felt
they’re nothing but friends.

would writing things out
possibly help me get over you?

Something Got My Tongue

at times like these,
i run out of words
i’ve lost my sense of direction
my muse, my inspiration

its either love
that kept me going
or depression
which kept me writing
either way,
Ive got neither now

so bear with me
while i search for another
not love, not depression either
but words so pure so raw
i cannot then help but write.

i want to be closer to God,
hopefully I’d find Him to be my muse
let my words be of what He speaks
flowing strings of worship
of everlasting love

i will try my best to stop writing of you.

Back with a capital B!

of 40days without blogging
felt like 40days so dry
a thirst needing to be quenched
all the pent-up emotions
in line waiting to be expressed
of ups and downs
experienced in those 40days

so what happened you ask?
i ran away to Singapore
to watch the band Paramore
came back that week
to watch Zee Avi the next
crushed my heart
then chopped my hair
planned a bestie’s birthday 
which wasted away
enjoyed a bestie’s sister’s wedding
with another incident of pure puking
and fought with an ex
over a matter so mere

so all in all
i survived 40days without these:
facebook, blogs, multiply, twitter
but i got more involved in these:
msn chatting and email checking

so what exactly did i give up?
i honestly dont know
gave my heart to be shattered
gave my hair to be sliced
gave myself to everything
but a proper sacrifice

ps: i still love you