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Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Luke 4: 1-13
These verses made me think as to how weak I truly am, how easily I give into temptations, how I sin on a regular nonchalant basis where I take God & His mercy & forgiveness for granted.
Imagine, Jesus withstood 40 days without physical food or drink, the human body can only take so much. I myself, after "fasting" (I only had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch & fried spaghetti for dinner + lots & lots of water), felt so weak, lazy & restless.
Furthermore, He managed in His hungry state, to stand up against the Devil though it seemed as though the devil asked for things that Jesus could do & bread, who wouldn't want it?! Wouldn't you be hungry?
Having said that, looking back at myself, it seems as though I give in or give up too fast & too easily. Just to get on with something, I'd agree uh huh to everything without paying much attention or giving much thought to it. How often have I broke driving laws just to reach my destination? How often have I put off doing things, knowing that I should be doing it ; not other things? It seems like small things, doesn't it? But that's how I see it. Turning stone into bread is probably pfft, nothing to Jesus but yet, He stood firm & said no. Yet, these seemingly insignificant meaningless actions that I do nonchalantly on a regular basis carry a heavy weight.
How about those times that I'm well aware that what I'm doing is not right, yet I tell myself & perhaps even God that nah, just this once, it'll be fine. Imagine Judgement Day, all the little small things collect & lump up together, it won't be so little anymore. Then perhaps I'd be kicking myself wondering why did I let the small little insignificant things ruin my chances at eternal life.
So I'm hoping & praying today that I be more aware of my surroundings & be more conscious of the efforts I'm making, be it small or big; strive to be strong in the Lord & make appropriate choices instead of letting it be a norm to "sin".
PS: Blessed Ash Wednesday everyone!
Imagine, Jesus withstood 40 days without physical food or drink, the human body can only take so much. I myself, after "fasting" (I only had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch & fried spaghetti for dinner + lots & lots of water), felt so weak, lazy & restless.
Furthermore, He managed in His hungry state, to stand up against the Devil though it seemed as though the devil asked for things that Jesus could do & bread, who wouldn't want it?! Wouldn't you be hungry?
Having said that, looking back at myself, it seems as though I give in or give up too fast & too easily. Just to get on with something, I'd agree uh huh to everything without paying much attention or giving much thought to it. How often have I broke driving laws just to reach my destination? How often have I put off doing things, knowing that I should be doing it ; not other things? It seems like small things, doesn't it? But that's how I see it. Turning stone into bread is probably pfft, nothing to Jesus but yet, He stood firm & said no. Yet, these seemingly insignificant meaningless actions that I do nonchalantly on a regular basis carry a heavy weight.
How about those times that I'm well aware that what I'm doing is not right, yet I tell myself & perhaps even God that nah, just this once, it'll be fine. Imagine Judgement Day, all the little small things collect & lump up together, it won't be so little anymore. Then perhaps I'd be kicking myself wondering why did I let the small little insignificant things ruin my chances at eternal life.
So I'm hoping & praying today that I be more aware of my surroundings & be more conscious of the efforts I'm making, be it small or big; strive to be strong in the Lord & make appropriate choices instead of letting it be a norm to "sin".
PS: Blessed Ash Wednesday everyone!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Lenten Sacrifice
I did this last year, & I succeeded. If I daresay, I even passed with flying colors. I even managed to continue my sacrifice after lent was over & yes, I'm proud of myself for that. However, as with all things associated to me, it didn't last. I soon gave up after a few months (or was it half a year? Somewhere there.). So it saddens me to have given it up, wishing I could revive it again.
It feels so surreal that its been a whole year since my life took a drastic life-changing turn. During this time last year, I faced possibly the hardest reality check ever. Yet, I succeeded & held onto my lenten sacrifice. I surrendered to Him & in turn, we journeyed together each step of the way & we still do.
So what exactly am I talking about? BIBLE. My Lenten sacrifice last year was to read the Bible daily, at least a lil bit. I followed the reading plans in my Youth Bible, and ran out after finishing 3 or 4 short plans. Then I started the Psalms, but couldn't complete it yet.
So today, this year, I'm starting it again. To add to it, I'm going to blog about it as well. Last year, I wrote it all down. So perhaps you're asking, why blog? Seems so self-fulfilling instead of God-centered eh? But I need to discipline myself to make sure I do it, & who knows, I might just possibly inspire others in one way or another by blogging?
So yes, to all those out there who are also striving to have a meaningful Lent, may we succeed for His sake. Have a Blessed Lent everyone!
It feels so surreal that its been a whole year since my life took a drastic life-changing turn. During this time last year, I faced possibly the hardest reality check ever. Yet, I succeeded & held onto my lenten sacrifice. I surrendered to Him & in turn, we journeyed together each step of the way & we still do.
So what exactly am I talking about? BIBLE. My Lenten sacrifice last year was to read the Bible daily, at least a lil bit. I followed the reading plans in my Youth Bible, and ran out after finishing 3 or 4 short plans. Then I started the Psalms, but couldn't complete it yet.
So today, this year, I'm starting it again. To add to it, I'm going to blog about it as well. Last year, I wrote it all down. So perhaps you're asking, why blog? Seems so self-fulfilling instead of God-centered eh? But I need to discipline myself to make sure I do it, & who knows, I might just possibly inspire others in one way or another by blogging?
So yes, to all those out there who are also striving to have a meaningful Lent, may we succeed for His sake. Have a Blessed Lent everyone!
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Committed
Why does everyone else have the right to get angry & blow off steam, when I have to grin & bear it? Why can everyone get away with things, but I have to be committed? Why can everyone else do the things I want to do, but I can't? Why must I always be polite & take in the shit other shove to me? Why must I always have to keep silent just to calm things over? Why must I always give in just to make others happy? Why must I always be the one who gets hurt for the sake of others? Why must I always be the one to make up? Why can everyone else be so egoistic & proud, but I can't do the same? Why must I always obey rules when others break mine?
I feel like I have no voice, no say, no stand. Its not fair that others get to get away with their past mistakes but mine are held against me. Its not fair that I don't get a chance to live my life the way I wish. Its not fair that I have to keep silent when injustice is done against me.
One wonders why I'm so passive, submissive & withdrawn, but truly, is it any wonder? I've been silenced all my life, who gives me the permission to speak now? The amount of shit I've gone through & yet no one knows. While everyone else gets to blow off their troubles, I'm forced to keep myself together. Anger, disappointment & hurt are apparently not mine to feel. But guess what? I'm hurt, and I can't even say it. The thing is that I still have to take whatever else is thrown at me after this. I also apparently have no right to feel or say any of the above, simply because of commitment ties.
Sigh, I'm sorry but this time I'm taking a stand. I can't live that way anymore. I'm standing firm in my beliefs & I will see it through. The occasional compromise & give & take is still within me, but I must stand my ground on certain things. I can only hope others would learn to understand.
The irony of this post is I'm pouring my heart out yet I can't go into specifics, sigh. Goodnight. I feel useless, thankyouverymuch.
I feel like I have no voice, no say, no stand. Its not fair that others get to get away with their past mistakes but mine are held against me. Its not fair that I don't get a chance to live my life the way I wish. Its not fair that I have to keep silent when injustice is done against me.
One wonders why I'm so passive, submissive & withdrawn, but truly, is it any wonder? I've been silenced all my life, who gives me the permission to speak now? The amount of shit I've gone through & yet no one knows. While everyone else gets to blow off their troubles, I'm forced to keep myself together. Anger, disappointment & hurt are apparently not mine to feel. But guess what? I'm hurt, and I can't even say it. The thing is that I still have to take whatever else is thrown at me after this. I also apparently have no right to feel or say any of the above, simply because of commitment ties.
Sigh, I'm sorry but this time I'm taking a stand. I can't live that way anymore. I'm standing firm in my beliefs & I will see it through. The occasional compromise & give & take is still within me, but I must stand my ground on certain things. I can only hope others would learn to understand.
The irony of this post is I'm pouring my heart out yet I can't go into specifics, sigh. Goodnight. I feel useless, thankyouverymuch.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
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