Lovesick Puppy Rant

Bittersweet is the perfect description
You Me and the whole complication
You could fool me with your so-called distraction
Your body language tells a different reaction
Seemingly, but I'm sure it ain't all about the action
You and me go way beyond mere mutual attraction
Deny it all you want, but we share a deep connection
Past and future uncertainty puts the stop in motion
Countless endless inconclusive discussion
We sure mean something with so much conversation
You and me would make a wonderful equation
Can't you put off your darned decision?
Leave it to faith with no particular reason
I'd miss you every day of every season
I hope you know you give me the greatest elation
And have the power to cause my heart grave devastation
Yet I hang on hope and pray for your heart's conversion
Of who I used to be, forgive, let go, pay no attention
Of who I can be for you, cherish with all determination
I am certain and believe in this so-called infatuation
This could be so much more, a serious relation
Give me a chance to ride with you through this tribulation
For in the end, I'm hoping for celebration
A worthy cause for jubilation
In something so meaningful far off your wildest imagination
Together so strong, we can make this a realization
Just so you know, I love you my bittersweet sensation.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

They say one can die of a broken heart. I wonder how that feels like. The tightening feeling of constriction of the heartbeat beneath your rib cage? The throbbing of your temples that seem to ripple and pulsate more intensely as it courses through your mind? The emptiness you feel within your soul? The heavy weight upon your limbs? So heavy that you feel so weak and unable to move? The never ending burning tears that make your eyes hurt once you stop? The plastic smile upon your lips on the outside when everything is crashing down and falling apart within you? The steel pretentious act you hold up, while ever so vulnerable inside? The utter complete devoid of any chance of any or slightest glimmer of hope or joy or peace? The unsettling restlessness within you? The gloom and the dread that consumes you? The inability to get out of bed? The avoidance of any other contact? The every word of another, stabbing you poking and prodding you slicing and dicing your very heart alive? The very temptation to run away hide and shun? The incessant self-battery? The worthlessness? The doubts and confusion? The everything, and yet I'm still alive. Sigh.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Today's horoscope

You will feel a little off color. Probably not enough to have you spend the day in bed but enough to wish you could shake off this wretched feeling.

How so very true. Sigh.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Ka-Boom!

Reckless and insecure
Rebel of not so pure
Nonsense you can't endure
Personality so demure
Eyes of deep that seem to lure
Certainly no immature

Round and round in circles we go
Trying our best to go with the flow
Things are fast yet things are slow
Process forever, results no show
Direction in which nobody know
Hanging onto the faintest glow

Feelings so strong feelings so true
Those of happy confused and blue
Everything falls apart right in front of you
Everything of the old nothing of the new
So cold so heartless what a wreck what a shrew
Chivalry is dead, not even one, not even a few

Push and pull is all that's done
Stand outside in the shining sun
Weight on the shoulders weigh a ton
Get rid of it until there's none
To the temple hold the gun
Pull the trigger to enjoy the fun

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Welcome 2011!

The new beginning of a new year
Am I even ready for what's to come?
Don't be silly girl! Have no fear!
Just take little steps, one at a time

The good or the bad
No one really knows
To be happy or sad
Life has it's own highs and lows

Positivity is the road I'm trying
Optimistic self-courage is what I take
Hope I'd be strong enough to not be left crying
My own happiness is what I make

On this day of a brand new year
I thank the Lord for all my beloveds
Family and friends from far and near
Relationships of new I've since discovered

It is today I miss the dearly departed
Surely whom watch us from above
Death will never keep us separated
Forever in our hearts we cherish you with love

Despite me trying not to mention
You by far are too special to me
Always on my mind catching my attention
I love you too much, I hope we're meant to be

For the year of 2011, this I pray
The Lord guides watches and protects us all
Keep us from harm, sin and temptation if He may
To forgive us and lift us up each time we fall

Here's cheers to the New Year of 2011!

Happy New Year everyone!

XOXO, Mandy.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone