Friday, April 22, 2011

Strangers, Again.



my broken heart reaches out to me within my tears.
i can't stop thinking about the past.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

If only...

Perhaps my life
Was never mine to own
Or live in the first place,
Perhaps I was unworthy of such a gift.
So now I live, not for myself
No, never for myself
But for others
Those around me
More worthy over my life
For the choices I make
Are often not mine
Even if I wanted to
Were out of my control or hands
If only just once
To make one choice
One I could call my own
Surpassing any other
I would if I could
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have the wish
I pray for tonight
And every night
Until there are nights no more
Even so,
The wish is not mine
But God's to grant
God's to take control over
And God's to decide
Thus, I put my faith hope & trust in Him
That His wish and mine
Are one in the same
The wish for another
A wish of my own
A wish of His blessing

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

(Not) Leavin On A Jet Plane

All my bags are (partially) packed
I'm (not) ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The (landlord)'s waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could (cry)

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm (not) leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, (I hope it changed something)

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm (not) leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Guitar Solo

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm (not) leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

(I hate to go...sigh.)

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Thursday, April 14, 2011

GFY!

I told myself
Time and time again
Let go of it
Forgive & forget
No matter how hard I try
Countless confessions
Endless inner healings
Never ending tears
Its just so hard to do

If you didn't rob my life
Few years ago
None of this would've ever happened
I wouldn't have ruined things
I wouldn't have been so messed up
No one would've gotten hurt
Everyone would've been happy

If there's anyone to blame for all of this
Its you
Not the culprit who changed my life
But you!
You who robbed me in the first place

For the sake of everyone else
I'm keeping quiet
To keep things together
I'm not saying anything
All the hurt & the pain
Is only mine to suffer

Call me selfish
Call me heartless
Call me coward
But I cannot tear apart what's mine
To save the potentials out there

You may be doing to others
What you did to me
I'm sorry for them
I truly am
But I cannot confess
Nor would I take revenge
By ruining your life
As you did mine

I pray that you harm no one else
Stay away from me
Stay away from my beloveds
Spread not your poison to those close to me
I pray that you change your ways
I pray that you realize
How much hurt and devastation you've caused
Just lock yourself up,won't you?
You're a disgusting piece of shit
And I fucking blame you for everything!

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Monday, April 4, 2011

the past, the present, the future


it hurts to see someone else okay
while it is good to know, it hurts
to have others moving on
while you're stuck
picking up the pieces
of the life they left behind
the mess they fled from
the one you chose to face
all alone just like you predicted
it is tough, yes indeed
to have your mind go rewind
all was for naught
a glimpse of what could've been
turned out to be the worst nightmare
while everyone else turns away
you turn inside
knowing that life has a new direction
a new meaning
of greater things to come
be it for yourself or otherwise
it is something to look forward to
despite how everyone else sees it
it is a blessing
a miracle
one that cannot be explained
not because it is a mystery
simply because
it is a secret
one borne of the one who carries it
so love has once more
promised itself unto you
pray that this time
it is to stay