Love?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8

This is the famous quote from the Bible.

My idea of love is somewhere along those lines. I always thought of love as selfless, you love the other person so much that you'd do anything for that person. Their flaws won't seem to matter that much and seem more tolerable than if you noticed them in others. Your whole being gravitates towards the other person and your purpose seems to be in making them happy. It would take patience, tolerance, give-and-take, understanding, compromise and basically two individuals sharing almost everything together.

I thought love meant you were comfortable in your own skin, knowing that the person loves and accepts you just the way you are, expecting nothing in return. And in that love and acceptance, you notice the subtle changes in yourself to be more alike of each other. You naturally incline to want to be who that person wants or wishes you to be, but with the assurance that you need not lose yourself, but merely grow to be a better more wholesome person.

Love meant someone you could count on for anything. Someone to hangout with, even if it was in silence,it would still feel comfortable. Someone you could just talk to all the time about anything, knowing you could trust the person and not have to be wary. The first person you run to when you've got great news and in want of celebration. The person you consult for advise or just a listening ear or just a shoulder to cry on. You can do all these and not have to worry if you'd be too much or you'd be too cumbersome towards the other person, simply because you know that person and that person knows you inside and out.

Unfortunately, love has failed me and hurt me one too many times. So much so, I'm starting to have my doubts. Perhaps its me? Perhaps I have the rose-tinted hopeless romantic view of love that is too high an ideal to achieve. Perhaps I'm still stuck in Disney Princesses and fairy tales. So for now, I'm staying away from love, I've had enough of my more than fair share of heartbreak. I need my space away. The only love I'm counting on these days is the love of my Lord.

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