Tuesday, August 31, 2010

30 Day Blogger Writing Challenge

I found this interesting link online; let's see if I manage to complete this for the month of September =)

yes, it'll be on a random daily basis..and I will try my best not to repeat the people, though it will be very hard to, as the same people fall under different days.

to make it even more challenging, I'll be blogging from my phone alone =S However, I won't be using the actual names, names will be changed.

WRITE A LETTER TO:
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Sourced from:
http://annascanlon.blogspot.com/2010/06/30-day-letter-writing-challenge.html


Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Monday, August 30, 2010

Rough tides of the storm

I should've seen it coming,
The brewing of the storm,
The past would send me unravelling
Back to the depths where I came from

Who the hell do you think you are?
Some girl who could actually make it in life?
Dream on, you're way too far
Efforts wasted, no need to strive

The aching of the heart
The throbbing of the mind
The day of depart
The day to draw the line

Bittersweet plasticity
Push and pull is how it is
You've got yourself stuck in sticky
How are you gonna recover from this?
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Saturday, August 28, 2010

sleepless nights.

 simply because i cant sleep,
it sucks thinking this late at night. =(

Friday, August 27, 2010

lazy afternoons?

a taste of the unattainable
made things so memorable
wishing it to be sustainable
longing became inevitable
but wishes and dreams now possible

thank you for yet another wish fulfilled <3
=)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

desperate plea for mercy

the paint starts to peel
the cracks start to show
left vulnerable open and bare
pull at the loose ends
snag the fragile stitches
everything starts crumbling
earth open wide to fall apart
the nerves are frayed
the cloth worn out thin
insecurities eat away
eroding the walls built within
heart aches to the core
emotions muddled to blur
consumed by great need
of deep longing for another
confused by everything around
no longer the same one being
so just cry out by the buckets
let it all run free
nothing matters anymore
smiles hide the brokenness inside

this girl is not feeling well today =(
i want to cry..sigh.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

VCR baby =)

a girl grew up with the VCR
having no TiVo, she knew no other option
picking up the tape cover, she drew a blank
curiosity got the best of her, pushed it into the slot
unknown what the story was about, pressed play
kick back sit still relaxed and comfortable
the life of her began to unfurl

the remote in her hands
she chose what she watched
of fast-forwards, plays, pauses and rewinds
just one story, unique in its kind

the tape was on play, the whim of her fancy
in the dark of days, it played rewind
delving deeper into the painful replays
someone pushed play just in time

tape often moved too slow sometimes
knowing what was coming soon
often wishing for fast-forward
but never could access the darn button

in moments to cherish, pause was often wished
just to slow things down a bit
to savor the moment to moment experiences
this is when fast-forward chose to work

things pick up with the flurry of motion
wishing not for a pause but a stop
such a button doesn't exist on the remote
so nothing can be done but it play on

where the story goes, no one knows
how the story ends, is certain by death
be it happy, be it sad
one thing’s for sure, its a journey nonetheless

life tells a story,
live it by pressing play,
never rewind or fast-forward
but pause, play and cherish.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

crossing of the mind

take my hand
surprise me
there aint no more lies
aint no more secrets
i promise you this
my heart i give you
everything you want
these things we’d compromise
so terrifyingly true
how similar we both are
but you and i know
we just friends of close
so take it slow
we go easy
this aint the way im used to
but new chapters you’re writing
of past so bloody screwed
and future uncertain
this path i take it with you
hand in hand we’ll start anew
shine on, my ray of hope
love you, hugs and kisses.

silly ramblings of the heart.

Friday, August 20, 2010

missing you tonight.

of all the nights,
tonight’s the night
i miss you oh so terribly
i know you won’t read this anytime soon
nor would you say anything about this
but tonight, i really really do miss you.

its funny how i just saw you today
in fact, i see you everyday
yet, im missing you tonight.

tonight my heart aches
my fingers feel so empty
thinking of you asleep in your bed
wishing i could crawl right in beside you
pull your arms around me
and feel all the security you’ve given me

baby, im missing you
come on over and hold me close
tonight. you. me. my aching heart.

im missing you. tonight.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

the magic of you

i once knew a girl, at the age of twenty-two, seemingly only two
easily excited at the notion of playgrounds and swimming pools
who wished upon impossible paradoxes, of her most fragile heart
chanced upon many disappointments, thus given up hope she had
until one day, magic came along in the most unexpected of ways
in the form of utmost care, concern and blissful excitement

she wished to be a mermaid in the water
with splashing around and fun aplenty
but none of her other playmates wanted the same
this new magic was a natural water baby

a bird swinging her cares away up up into the sky
a giddy small child spinning round in circles
magic swooped her off her feet by moonlight
replacing bad memories of old with the one of new

of Taylor Swift songs of kissing and dancing in the rain
perhaps not the rain, but umbrella it sufficed
walked and pampered to the car
stolen kisses made magic that very night

even eating was made a whole different experience
the slightest subtle change in chair placement
to the grazing of the hand and the feeding of the lips
magic food for thought caught her transfixed on the spot

for the lack of rhythm and the love of silly old musicals
like Ariel of the Little Mermaid with treasures of the land,
thought no one would share her fate
but magic proved her wrong and brought music to her ears

of random messages and surprises of unexpected
extra mile efforts to drive by the place
simply just to say hi, hug, kiss and goodbye
drove magic running for miles and miles and miles

lazy afternoons spent lying in bed
rain drizzled outside in the cool of the place
was a wish in passing soon to be forgotten
but magic cuddled her that day and made it true

stars shone the beach that very night
meteor of stars might have passed on
but magic brought a meteor so different
of hugs and kisses and lying down wishes

words of easy slip through the lips
as though not meant to
but comforting nonetheless
magic comes naturally to words so smooth

closeness seemed a far distant planet
but hugs, hand-holding and pinky promises
changed the world in its perspective
magic, oh magic, oh magic indeed

of wishes and dreams once left unfulfilled
as though shooting stars came by the meteors
magic soon came true in each one of you
left baffled and mystified by the odds of things
wondering if it was all too good to be true
but oh what the heck, she found her hope in you.

the list she truly had long forgotten
or maybe even not paid any attention
but realization she now knew
when magic made them all come true
one by one in surprises she’d least expect
ohmygosh, she’s fallen in love, you said?

*delusional & happy*

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Terrible twos


bloody thesis, why can’t you be that someone?
make life easier for me, wont you? =(
 

she put herself out on the line
thinking everything would be just fine
that’s the trouble with one step stumbling
from then on its downward falling
told herself never again after the last
yet sculpting now the very same cast
she shouldn’t have let it run its course
should’ve nipped in the bud before the remorse
now its too late to do anything
just bear it and just grin
of freedom she seeks
of headaches she weeps
messing with her head is never a good thing
she’ll lose it all again, losing its very meaning
if only to close her eyes and escape
hear nothing and feel cool breeze on her nape
she can’t wait until this is over
then she’d be done with it forever
yet to harbor such hope about
that it’ll eventually work out
messed up child never learns
of forbidden things she yearns

for the love of the double edged sword =)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

-Kat Stratford

damn, i miss this movie!
sigh, the best love story ever!

RIP Heath Ledger,
you were so sexy in this movie!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

you…

…know who you are.

i’ll be honest
and say i’m not used to this
the happiness, the smiles
showers of hugs and kisses
such attention, such care
and always being there
of endless conversations
and the never-ending teasing
of open heart talks
and getting to know you betters
indeed you colored my world
and make my mornings brighter
surprises of no end
im guessing you’ve got more?
you have my heart a-racing
as corny as it sounds
everything seems too good to be true
am i really so lucky to have someone like you?
as much as i am happy
this girl has her issues =P
just so you know
whatever the pace, whatever the label
to hide or not to hide
are thoughts no more from this time onwards
lets go with the flow
and see where it goes
time will tell all
if anyone’s ready
if it happens and is meant to be
thus commitment will fall to its rightful place
in your arms i fall asleep every night
and beside you i’ll awake the next
even if in dreams this rings true
oh what wonder if it came true.

<3
Apa saya berhak atas cintamu?
rindu.

who? what? how?

actions speak louder than words
or so that’s what one heard
there are areas yet for understanding
intentions and motives left uncomprehending
of such happiness to have found
yet unsure of its solid ground
once given a part, given too the whole
did not one word heard of what’s been told?
such things don’t come easy
insecurity makes things queasy
kept in the dark seemingly alright
but really rather show off with pride
of secrets and lies rather not tell
how to face others when bidding them well?
to act so nonchalantly comes ever so easy
poker face perfected sang Gaga lady
but still wonder whatever is the intention?
simply shy? private? or ashamed of such devotion?
status left hanging
questions left avoiding
perhaps mere affections to do a rope in?
thus expect nothing more but mutual feeling?
garner not hope if not to blossom and grow
unsure of such a pace of fast and slow
where exactly does it stand?
hopefully answered with something solid to fend.

keep silent
left bare
who am i?
to you?

Monday, August 9, 2010

lost in translation

 
been there, done that, 
don’t ever want to go through it again.
 

so many words to say
yet trapped within these lips
a heart so heavy laden
emotion turmoil all unfurl
a glimpse at hope once seen
now diminished cease to exist
the irony of life so cruel
teasing a life so fragile
to laugh or cry unknown
belittlement of the self
bruised since bygone years
same cycle yet repeat
perhaps asking was a never
forget and avoid seems best
fled the heat of the flame
only to be burned in open fire
if only to love and be loved
now simply just a myth
stupid step fell hard
should’ve known better
the signs so classic
one is like any other
words of empty
charm of old
break not a heart
already shattered
of pieces lost along the way
whoever will pick up the shards?

it’ll all be for lost and nothing
if it all doesn’t stand for something
if only to take a stand and pride
let it not be a past to hide
or else best be left forgotten
before the future becomes rotten.
.sigh.

Friday, August 6, 2010

a night of never befores

a girl could’ve been a cat that night
for it seemed like she had nine lives
for all the moments she was caught off guard
her heart stopped in its beating tracks
it had never been done before
like never ever ever never
but that night made everything different
graced the family with such polite presence
conversation flowed everywhere with such ease
not only the heart stopped, but speech too
with the nonchalant intertwining of hands
blushed like never before
nervousness built itself from within
time stood still when joined in arms
not just once, but twice too
to melt and fall was all she felt
such warmth such security such comfort
a safe haven she wished not to break away
oh how her mind spun its replay
again and again and again
making her dizzy feeling ever so happy

thanks for a night extraordinaire
of renewed hope joy and magic

Thursday, August 5, 2010

of hugs and smiles

the way he pulled her in ever so gently
holding her within his arms so manly
to snuggle up she wished she could
but impolite, it was simply rude
maybe it was fleeting and nothing
perhaps it meant more and something
respected her space he did
but from his face she hid
shy to face such tenderness
afraid to show her eagerness
he embraced with such warmth and care
a blush crept up her skin so fair
little does he know
of what she doesn’t show
a smile on his face he said?
a mark on her heart he made
new meaning to hugs he gave
from now on its what she’d crave
to perfect such comforting fulfilling embraces
until she no longer felt out of place

why do i have a strong feeling
that i’m going to wake up tomorrow morning
feeling utterly embarrassed about this post? =S

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

things you probably didnt know

it was amusing yet frustrating
to find someone’s behavior mirroring your own
catching you unaware each time
unable to predict its changing courses.

it probably wasnt done on purpose
but a few characteristics here and there
seemed too coincidental to be true,
as though fate intervened itself secretly.

to have someone wanting your time and attention yet drawing the line as to not be overwhelming just so you’d have yours too.
to have someone pull you in for a hug that said it’d be longer in every touch, but withdrew politely as though sensing the very hesitance.
to have conversation flowing ever so effortlessly, without an ounce of awkwardness settling in was astonishing.
to be teasing each other ever so comfortably, unafraid of ugly big guffaws.
one of the biggest shock factor was the lack of “vibes”, not once did it feel uncomfortable, nor did it ever cross the mind of a possible ulterior hidden motive.
to have someone who held religious beliefs that were very admirable, made you more convicted in your own.
someone whose family ties were close-knit and strong, resembling your very own.
to have someone who looked forward to spending time together, and you spending every waking moment nervous and grinning up to the said moment.
someone who took pains to assure your safety in the subtlest of ways.
to be asking of serious matters in the subtle joking manner, in disbelief that it reflected your own style of asking questions.
to be ever so careful with the way you sat and spoke for the accidental graze of skin would send jolts up your spine.
the ever subtle resting of hand on your shoulders, wishing for more in the form of walking hand in hand.

there are things you probably should know
things that would ring the alarm bells and make you go uh-oh
and a huge big chance of you walking away and saying no
although being together feels natural and rightly so
would it be okay if to tell things to you slow?
just so to cherish a little time before you decide to go.

P8024718

i wonder if you’d see past this girl’s damaged past,
for a guy always wants a brand new car,
never a beat up old junkie,
think you could be the exception,
and give this junk car a chance?
to be a brand new car in your loving hands?
for honest to God, she’s falling for you. hard.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Langkawi update =)

P8024671

imagine this,

1 island (Langkawi),
1 holiday,
2 propeller airplanes (Firefly),
3 days and 2 nights,
10 family members,
1 van,
5 rooms (Langkawi Seaview Hotel),
1 boat ride tour (Mangrove tour, Eagle Feeding, Bat Cave, Fish Farm),
1 beach wedding (Four Seasons Resort),
3 bottles (Absolut Mango, Absolut Raspberry, Jose Ceurvo),
chocolates

= 700+ pictures

this is the first time i maxed my memory card out =P
but wow, was it awesome!
will post pix up as soon as i get the bridal green light =)

+ point:  random messages =)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

you left me in disbelief

i think i know this path
its been awhile since
but this path i await
to follow and walk its way

just because i dont say it
doesnt mean i dont feel it
nor does it mean i dont think it
but plenty of it i do

with overexcited smiles
and plenty of shy laughter
accidental brushing of arms
its simply unbelievable

i think i know
what you want to know
but the answers i wont show
until im really sure

cant believe its not once
but twice three times too
of invitations to hang out
this girl simply cannot grasp

but happiness you bring aplenty
big smiles on my lips widened
of little things and tiny ones too
i think my happiness is you =)

am hoping for an “yes” on monday!
and the chance to hug you properly one day.