joke gone wrong

the words that day
keeps replaying in my mind
as much as i tell myself
its not true
something in me crushed
no one noticed
but i froze on the spot
almost broke down too
thank God i managed a laugh

i try not to care
i’ve learnt not to
but every now and then
the comments break through
and sting me and shatter me too
i know what people say about me
i’ve heard the names myself
it doesnt make it fair

no one knows exactly
about what i went through
no one can say exactly
who i was and who i am today
please i beg you, next time
find out how i became this way
then only id see
if you can repeat the same comment
but i’d never tell
so i guess you’d never know

i was fucking joking
for crying out loud!
maybe you were too
but i guess that’s what no one realizes
jokes can be pretty darn hurtful.

thanks for tearing me apart that day
you may not have meant it
but boy, you sure did a darn good job
i wish you all the best 
to you and your girlfriend
she looks like a good girl
i hope you don’t ruin her

no, this time, this post aint about you
but im guessing you think the same way too
you too have “joked” about my reputation 
dont worry boy, i know i aint good enough for you.