past rehaunting

this girl is breaking down once more
she cant hold it in much longer
the tears come free these days
emotions were devoid within her
its back, she feared the worst
her suspicions yet to be confirmed
silence grew louder each day
she grew tired ever so easily
she felt no purpose
no sense and no rhyme
her heart ached ever so painfully
if only she had the guts
she needed release
writing lost its cure for her
nothing seemed worthy anymore
she hurts not only herself
but everyone around her too
she wished she felt remorse
but nothing could she feel
if only to draw blood
like how she did before
maybe then her senses would regain
she wishes to call someone
who might understand
but unfair to him would she be
if only he sensed her pain
and called her at opportune
but what he wanted
she couldnt offer
time alone she needed it the most
with others she wished not to be
but by herself in her own misery
the past long gone
but the effects carry on
this girl will never be the same
God only knows if He’d ever find her again

i think i need time away from you
even with you, im not feeling it too
maybe its a good thing
but then again, i feel nothing
so if you dont hear from me
i guess you wouldnt even care
if i sound damn harsh
i hope you take it with stride
ignore me and my words for now
i doubt you’d understand
i dont expect you to
he would im sure
but him i cant turn to
doesnt matter anyway
this girl is gone for the moment
dont know when to return again