let me let go

as much as i tell myself
im going only for God
there’s that thought
squirming at the back of my mind
im trying my best to push it behind
i find myself excited at the notion
guilty too for this silly devotion
i tell myself think not too much
i tell myself think not of such
for disappointment greets my door
as my heart sinks to the floor
i should’ve known better
God is my only matter
shown me signs aplenty
but gone is my sanity
love is all i seek
hope which makes me weak

silly girl let go
the answer is still no
why dear God, why so?
stubbornness in me runs deep
heartache and pain then seep
leaving me in a big messy heap
dear girl, plenty more
that's what they’re there for
distraction to ease the sore
silly girl let go
that one is a no show
it’ll only bring you woe
I’ll be there with you
guiding you through
fear not my child, it will subdue

God tells me let go
you’re telling me let go
why am i still not letting go? =(
DAMN la! frustrating its this hard!