Crash crash crash
Down into the ditch
You left me high and dry
Like you didn't care at all
What was I thinking
Was I delusional
To think that you
Were even possible
Stop stop stop
Running through my mind
Get out right now
I'm sick of you in there
You don't belong
Anywhere close to me
Got better things to do
Instead of you today
Fool fool fool
Made myself of me
Thought I was in love
Alas not at all
It was all a game
Why couldn't I see
Yet I agreed
Just a mere plaything
Now now now
I should be over it
Why the heck
With all the lies
What ifs and whatnots
Are a thing of the past
Let go and let God
He'll put it all to rest
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
A prose, aight?
Sleepless nights
Take all my might
To focus my sight
On the brightest of lights
A flash of blinding white
Gotta keep things tight
To soar new heights
Where they fly the highest of kites
A tale of my plight
Already finished not quite
Until the day I set things right
Adventures forever I now invite
Come now, I promise not to bite.
Take all my might
To focus my sight
On the brightest of lights
A flash of blinding white
Gotta keep things tight
To soar new heights
Where they fly the highest of kites
A tale of my plight
Already finished not quite
Until the day I set things right
Adventures forever I now invite
Come now, I promise not to bite.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Wee morning thoughts.
Sometimes I'm proud of myself. I survive my detox & days go by without anything amiss. Then it'll strike & I'm back to square one. Sometimes I'm thankful for the way things are, other times I wish I heard something, anything. It's silly that I still have these questions and thoughts when they shouldn't matter anymore. God has already helped me by shutting down any and every means possible yet my heart is still not at peace. Sometimes I managed to convince myself that I'm not convincing myself & I'm entirely alright yet other times I'm not so sure. At this instance, I'm all negative emotions. One thing I do know, it still fucking hurts until today & it's just a matter of how I block it out again. They say confrontation is better than running away or suppressing, yet what's there to confront? Nothing. There's no one to talk to without getting a slap in your face in return. At times like this, I feel like I need a psychologist just to talk things out and work things out. I mean how long can one harbor such emotions & not let it eat away at you.
Anyway, I'm sleepy now. Just needed a rant. One of those difficult nights. Night.
Anyway, I'm sleepy now. Just needed a rant. One of those difficult nights. Night.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
10 Reasons to be Financially Free
1. Owning a car; so I can go wherever I want whenever I want without relying on anyone.
2. Owning a house; so I can finally learn to be independent & have my own space for everything.
3. Sending baby to a reputable preschool; I'm worried sick about this one cause I want the best for her but I can't seem to afford my wants.
4. Saying yes to friends; it's so embarrassing & tiresome to keeping turning friends down cause you're broke.
5. Treating loved ones; it sucks & feels horrible that my parents still pay the bills.
6. Saving up; where the hell does my money go?? I want to feel the satisfaction that I've got a growing investment at the end of the day.
7. Donates & Charity; I wish I was more giving towards the needy.
8. Good food; while others spend on material things, my greatest weakness & biggest loss of moolah is due to this very reason.
9. Toys for baby; there are a few toys I reallly really wish I could get her but alas they're either too hefty a pricetag or I've got no space for them (refer to #2)
10. Debt free; right now, I've got a 5 figure student loan over my shoulders, not inclusive of the soon amounting expenses (refer to #3).
So yes, while one should not be money minded & just live a minimalist lifestyle, unfortunately money is what makes the world go round. Sigh.
2. Owning a house; so I can finally learn to be independent & have my own space for everything.
3. Sending baby to a reputable preschool; I'm worried sick about this one cause I want the best for her but I can't seem to afford my wants.
4. Saying yes to friends; it's so embarrassing & tiresome to keeping turning friends down cause you're broke.
5. Treating loved ones; it sucks & feels horrible that my parents still pay the bills.
6. Saving up; where the hell does my money go?? I want to feel the satisfaction that I've got a growing investment at the end of the day.
7. Donates & Charity; I wish I was more giving towards the needy.
8. Good food; while others spend on material things, my greatest weakness & biggest loss of moolah is due to this very reason.
9. Toys for baby; there are a few toys I reallly really wish I could get her but alas they're either too hefty a pricetag or I've got no space for them (refer to #2)
10. Debt free; right now, I've got a 5 figure student loan over my shoulders, not inclusive of the soon amounting expenses (refer to #3).
So yes, while one should not be money minded & just live a minimalist lifestyle, unfortunately money is what makes the world go round. Sigh.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
8 Things to Avoid/Cut Down On
1. Vacations: Who are you to enjoy yourself when you've got to start saving for your daughter's education
2. New clothes: do you really need that dress no matter how gorgeous or perfectly fitting it is on you? Do you know you repeat your clothes despite your over spilling wardrobe?
3. Junk food: you're fat enough as it is; do yourself a favor and stay clear of these unnecessary items from entering your body.
4. Flirting: cause it's just too complicated to be attracting all the good nice unattractive guys yet feel utterly compelled to be attracted to the "ulterior motive" or unavailable guys who are just bad news to begin with.
5. Relationships: do I even need to say this? You have a child to think of before you start introducing strangers to her. Plus, the old adage of how do you love someone else when you haven't even learned to love yourself.
6. Procrastination: you've got so much time on your hands and the fullest potential to make the most out of it. DO something about it!
7. Social media: you're depressed enough as it is. You don't need to be torturing yourself with updates of engagements, vacations, couples. Well if you really must then limit yourself to blogging. Consider deactivating your Facebook profile cause you're barely on it anymore & ask yourself honestly, would it really matter or make an impact if you did? (plus, you reallly need to catch up on your sleep).
8. Stalking: you don't need to be reminded of a past that's behind you cause it ain't coming back & you need to focus on the future. Having said that, don't waste time on unresponsive uninterested people either. In other words, mind your own kafreaking business.
2. New clothes: do you really need that dress no matter how gorgeous or perfectly fitting it is on you? Do you know you repeat your clothes despite your over spilling wardrobe?
3. Junk food: you're fat enough as it is; do yourself a favor and stay clear of these unnecessary items from entering your body.
4. Flirting: cause it's just too complicated to be attracting all the good nice unattractive guys yet feel utterly compelled to be attracted to the "ulterior motive" or unavailable guys who are just bad news to begin with.
5. Relationships: do I even need to say this? You have a child to think of before you start introducing strangers to her. Plus, the old adage of how do you love someone else when you haven't even learned to love yourself.
6. Procrastination: you've got so much time on your hands and the fullest potential to make the most out of it. DO something about it!
7. Social media: you're depressed enough as it is. You don't need to be torturing yourself with updates of engagements, vacations, couples. Well if you really must then limit yourself to blogging. Consider deactivating your Facebook profile cause you're barely on it anymore & ask yourself honestly, would it really matter or make an impact if you did? (plus, you reallly need to catch up on your sleep).
8. Stalking: you don't need to be reminded of a past that's behind you cause it ain't coming back & you need to focus on the future. Having said that, don't waste time on unresponsive uninterested people either. In other words, mind your own kafreaking business.
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