Denying Reality

I can't lie, I won't lie, it still hurts, it still stings, it still burns. The memories sear thru my mind, and I'm still longing deep inside. Its so frustrating not to know, yet with the same frustration, I'm pushing it all away. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to get angry behind all these tears. The ache resonates in my heart, the hollow aching to be filled. If only I didn't feel the way I felt, then things wouldn't be so hard. Some days get so tough, the memories make it rough. Some days I can't sit still, I want to unlease my inner rage, other days I want to blank out & numb myself, forgetting everything. My pride holds me together that I will never confess or speak of in public again. I gave all my trust, thinking, hoping I'd found the exception instead of the rule. How foolish I am, how foolish indeed. Goodnight all.