Drown

I come home and head straight to the room. As though like a vampire, not coming out until the sun goes down. Looking at the ceiling and its four walls, it almost feels claustrophobic. Looking at the messy floor in much dismay, a sense of helplessness drowns me. I try not to think, I try to lay still. I usually end up falling asleep, only to wake up feeling worse than ever. I'd be lucky if the headache doesn't come or stay. I feel like Goldilocks who crashed the place, messed it up and overstayed. I feel like the black sheep who should've been gobbled up by the wolf. Like a misfit in the puzzle, its a board I don't belong. It feels like you're under anesthesia and you're numb but you're fully conscious and aware of everything happening, yet you can't do anything about it. Its like you're hanging by a thread and nothing makes sense anymore. I'm just afraid, afraid of myself.


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