Nerd Alert!

Dear Assignments, Studying and Finals,

Where have the days gone where i used to read all the time? Where are the days where i used to diary ever quite so often? My joy of reading and writing have been replaced by my lack of time. All the things i used to love, I hardly have the time for anymore.

Please let me pass this semester as soon as possible, that i may not have to repeat and waste another semester. Please guide me and see me through my assignments as well as my finals that i may resume my fun, sanity and whatever other healthy “plans” i might have.

written work used to be my comfort zone, my safe haven, my stability. Perhaps I'm losing my ground because of this? My emotions have gone haywire and unstable for the same reason too? Super duper good day? utterly horrible day? plain old boring day?everything used to go into my diary, now i feel as though I've no time to do so, not even the time to blog. (Sigh, it’s a wonder i even have the time to blog this).

or maybe its just my own fear that I'm trying to push aside and not confirm it by not expressing it? that once everything is on paper, everything seems so permanent when everything’s always changing? Or perhaps it’s my fear that things wont change? so id rather not write anything down? so i wont have anything to compare it against? no memories of the past, be it good or bad ones? Maybe I've feared to the point id rather have nothing at all than to have something only halfway? Damn, i miss writing! =(

I miss reading, getting so engrossed in a book that i couldn't be bothered or couldn't care less about the world around me. i wont have to hear what others had to say. i don't have to worry about what's going on. i don't have to think about the things that might hurt or upset me. when i was crumbling and couldn't cope in reality, the characters held themselves together for me. when i felt sad and angry and so devastated, the characters would give me new hope in their stories or comfort me in sharing my plight. i got lost in this alternate world just so i wont have to face my harsh reality. burrowing my nose in a book allows me to retreat to my own world and escape awkward  embarrassing small talk moments in which i know i would fail in.

lately, the latest of which combines both my passion is the Word of God. i had attended a program which allowed me to reflect and evaluate my current standing with God and attempt to bring myself closer to Him. it was in this program that we had to do daily Bible reflections in which we not only read the Word of God, but we were to journal about it as well. i had done so religiously (pun intended) for about 5 weeks when something happened and i had to put it on hold for awhile. Unfortunately, it has been on hold ever since and I would very much like to return to it soon! =(

i need my words.
i need my solid secure stable means of comfort.
i need typography.

Please give me back my time? =(

Love much,
Nerdy Bookworm.