shot by love

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It Makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, the one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life..you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in your imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
- Neil Gaiman :taken from thinkexist.com

to sum up how i feel about that quote is another quote:

“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”
- also taken from thinkexist.com

don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate love, i love love. in fact, i love loving and to be loved in return. but im just on the wrong end of love right now. the simplest of things seem so overwhelming these days. its real funny how just one person, just one, is all it takes to turn your whole life upside down. to make your life a huge paradox where the person makes you both laugh and cry, warm and cold, attentive and ignorant. i didn’t plan on it happening this way, yet it did, and now im stuck, having trouble getting out of this, all of which is happening while the person is on the outside looking in. sigh.

be patient with me, kay?
i really am trying to get over you
its just taking longer than i hoped for.