words left unsaid…are better off unsaid.

Dear You,

hi! yes, this is me being such a coward. silly and ironic, ain’t it? how i dare tell the world how i feel about you but i cant tell you. don’t worry, your identity is anonymous. and i have a feeling you stop by my blog, do you? well, i wouldn’t know cause you wouldn’t say. but it doesn’t matter anyway, what difference would it make right?

I'm writing this, to stop me from contacting you. id so love to pick up my phone, call you or even message you, heck maybe even email you..just to say hi and tell you have a good day and give you the reminder like i always do. just to hear your voice. but i know you wouldn’t want that (i heard the edge in your voice, I'm sorry i disturbed you, i should’ve known better).

gosh, do you know how silly i feel right now? i have never been so hung up over someone before. it doesn't make sense! i mean, i can always forget you, cant i? why is it so hard this time? you know what's even sillier? the fact that you know how i feel (yes, i know you know, i just don’t say it), and act all nonchalant about it, when i’m trying my very best not to let it show how i feel, just so i won’t make you feel awkward about things. how can i be more like you? i mean, i know you have no feelings for me, i totally get that. i just wish i knew how to be more cool and collected about things, the way you do it.

i know im not being myself around you, i don’t know if you know. the little tendencies i have, to hold your hand, hold you close, tell you sweet stuff, compliment you, grin especially wide, talk personal stuff with you; i suppress it all in, cause i know i can’t be that way. yet, i be the other way, which is SO not good either..sigh..i guess, i just don’t want you to see how vulnerable i actually am.

anyway, don’t worry, i’ll try my best to keep my distance for awhile, i know that’s what you want, despite you telling me otherwise. wish me luck okay? that i don’t ruin this again… you mean too much to me to lose.. so yes, i may have ruined a whole lot of things, but this is something i wouldn’t risk ruining.

good night =)

Love,
Me