my different love personas

if i were to analyze and dissect myself
just to find out how is it i treat my partners
one would get a big huge contradiction!

(the following are just my opinions,
diss me if you’d like, i really don’t care)

Ms.Nurse
I'm strongly attracted to those in need (not trying to make anyone sounds bad here, i mean it in a good way). I'm one who just loves taking care of people. proof: i can’t take it if someone says he/she is hungry but refuses to eat (for goodness knows what silly reason too. btw, diet excuses do not work on me!), I'd feel the need to make sure the person eats a little something, at least. downside: one might feel I'm overly motherly

Ms. Hopeless Romantic
yes, I'm a hopeless romantic who still wishes for a knight in shining armor to sweep me off my feet. i don’t care much for material things. I'd rather have my partner’s time. instead of a store-bought gift, I'd appreciate a homemade one better, even if it doesn’t turn out alright, the thought that my partner put effort into it is priceless! =) proof: a page of doodles can light me up for the rest of the day Downside: one might take this for granted and NEVER get me a store bought gift at all =( =P

Ms. Independent
as much as i love chivalry and the little sweet gestures of politeness (that seems dead in the world today =( ), i still stand by my own independence. I’d rather not my partner consider me weak and frail, yes, i love the pampering, but thinking I'm incapable of doing things on my own is a huge no-no. proof: I'm can’t tolerate it if a guy holds his girlfriend’s handbag (I'd diss the girlfriend instead for letting such a thing happen!) Downside: One might find this persona too strong

Ms.Lazy Afternoons
I'm a sucker for lazy afternoons. i love the idea of lying in each other’s arms on a rainy afternoon, talking and laughing about anything and everything under the sun while sneaking kisses in between. just to hug and lay still in that moment without it leading to anything further is pure bliss =) massages are a great thing too. my point is: could it truly be possible to just enjoy each other’s company without wanting to get into each other’s pants =( Downside: Chances don’t come often

Ms. Insecure
i love getting close to people, don’t get me wrong. but once i start getting too close, i notice myself pulling farther away. doubts start running through my mind, guilt starts gnawing at me, my old habits kick back in. this is the suckiest persona i have. because of this persona, i usually luck out in love. proof: i feel like I'm never good enough for my partner, that my partner can do so much better than me. or I'd subconsciously do something to threaten the relationship. Downside: one might not be able to tolerate and constantly comfort me

Ms.Pushover
anything my partner wants me to do, I'd usually give in (unless its something I’m firmly against). if a fight ensues, I’d probably walk away to cool off then come back and try to resolve things. proof: If my partner wants company for an event or anything like that, though I’d hate to go, I’d most probably go. Downside: Conflicting opinions might give way to bigger arguments and one might take advantage of me this way =(

Ms.Protective
I tend to get clingy in unfamiliar territories, but once i get the hang of things, i can break away and mingle. If i catch anyone eying my partner, I’d stay back and watch the situation first. If the person is merely admiring my partner, then I’m cool with it. If the person moves in to flirt, rest assure that I’d nonchalantly linger my hand around my partner’s waist just to get a certain message across. But I’d still keep my cool anyway and probably talk myself out of that possessiveness =P saying that no matter what happens, my partner loves me and is with me, not with the snitch. proof: I’d first discuss with my partner about what my partner finds okay or not. Downside: I might either come off as too laid-back or too clingy.

so, with all these that I’ve noticed about myself,
I now understand
why I’m not in a relationship.
LOL. (sigh)

would i ever find someone who can put up with my s***?