my hidden agenda

 

everytime you hold my hand,
do you feel the strain?
do you feel me holding back?
like i wish you never held it in the first place?

its cause
i wish to hold your hands tighter
i wish to hold it longer
i wish you didnt let go
but i wish you didnt know too
how i feel about you
so i make it uncomfortable for you to hold my hand

everytime you put your hands around my waist
do you sense my sudden stiffness?
do you sense my alarm?
as though you holding me was the worst thing in the world?

its cause
i would think i were yours
i would wish you held me closer
i wish you wouldnt let go
but i would laugh it off
then run away.

notice how im always clumsy around you?
how i lose my footing
i have a lot of Freudian slips
my voice seems a notch higher
i seem to laugh more
grin more

all this is because of you
because of how i feel for you
and i know you don't feel the same
i know its foolish mind games im playing with myself
but i love what i have
even if its nothing,
you make me feel special =)

ps: don't worry, im not hoping for anything more ;)