In the still of the night

Tonight,
A night like any other,
had in store for her,
something different,
a haunting of the past.

in the calm of the night,
when everything is silent,
alone in the dim room she calls her own,
she can scarcely hold it in,
her tears spill forth like rain.

in the eyes of others,
a cheerful silly girl laughs,
(to the benefit of her friends)
a cold nonchalant shoulder is drawn,
(to the one who currently holds her heart)
a confident sexy demeanor
(to the ones who lure her or take her bait).

everyone around her,
seem to have a purpose in life,
a blissful relationship,
someone to love and be loved back,
a sense of direction in life,
be it in the matters of career, studies, love or life.

she looks at the mirror of life,
studies intensely the reflection of her very own,
piece by piece,
crumbles before her very eyes,
once again, the web of deceit spun so meticulously,
the trap of love mocks her with a perfect mirage,
her advances fail each person,
life on its own, too complicated for understanding.

love,
a concept,
too far for reach or grasp,
a strong hatred towards the very thing she craves,
the security and assurance that comes with it,
too proud to admit, too broken to be renewed,
to not love love yet love to be loved by and love.

.she is me.