Escapism

The tendency to indulge in a particular character or associate to something much too much. It could either remind you of a distant memory that you'd rather have buried. Or it could be exactly what you're facing now or wish not to Have at the current time. Or it could also be a future you had wished for yourself, be it something you work towards or one that you could never possibly have in your wildest dreams.

If you so much as connect to a particular character, you're pretty much a goner. Every emotion the character is feeling, courses through your veins. Every situation the character is going through, puts you right in their shoes. Every wish the character wishes, your heart longs for the very same. And you find yourself comparing it to the reality in which you may or may not have the exact or similar similarities.

While being totally engrossed in a particular material helps distract unpleasant memories or situations or thoughts away, once finished, will leave you feeling hollow and in want for more like an addict who's run out of a fix. You're left craving for more that you'd start to blur the lines of reality & fictitious worlds. The irony of it all is you meant only as means to keep yourself sane but seemingly losing grip on your sanity with each ending.

So yes Ms Troubled Past, I hide secrets of my own too. And yes Ms Practiced Conformity, I know how to keep a straight face too. As for you Ms Bitter Pessimist, I've been screwed over before too. Ms Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover, I know your tricks & can use them as manipulatively too. Ms Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places, I've got my track record and a reputation that precedes me too. And yourself Ms Get Yourself Together, I'm hanging on by a thread too. So it's tough enough being me, I associate myself with every character in the novels that I read & the movies that I watch & songs that I listen to.

For better or for worst, it's the only form of therapy I can afford to for now.

Say Saying Said

Crash crash crash
Down into the ditch
You left me high and dry
Like you didn't care at all
What was I thinking
Was I delusional
To think that you
Were even possible

Stop stop stop
Running through my mind
Get out right now
I'm sick of you in there
You don't belong
Anywhere close to me
Got better things to do
Instead of you today

Fool fool fool
Made myself of me
Thought I was in love
Alas not at all
It was all a game
Why couldn't I see
Yet I agreed
Just a mere plaything

Now now now
I should be over it
Why the heck
With all the lies
What ifs and whatnots
Are a thing of the past
Let go and let God
He'll put it all to rest