Who am I kidding? I'm not strong enough to be so foolish again. This is not what I'm seeking for, this is not who I want to be. I've come this far with whatever I have left in me, I refuse to fall again and be left with nothing.
No matter how much I deceive myself, I am not okay with it. I've hurt too many people already, I've hurt myself too much already. This time, I'm not falling again.
I won't be that girl anymore. I won't give in anymore. I won't play along anymore. No matter how weak I might end up, I will be stronger and overcome.
My guess was wrong before & perhaps I may be wrong again now, but I'm safer thinking this way. This is the price I pay, this is my ultimate wish fulfilled. No matter how superficial things were, it was real to me and perhaps the closest to real that I may ever get. Now I move on with a piece of the real I had, and be happy no matter the circumstance.
I will be strong this time around! If not for me, for her! I have more in me than I give myself credit for and I will take pride in it! In me!
This time, I'm standing up for myself!
Great! Finally! It looks like you are ready to make more babies with more random strangers! :D
ReplyDeleteProbably a good idea to delete troll comments like this and allow only legitimate commenters here Amanda.
DeleteAnon: Wow! Glad to know you've got humour! =D too bad you don't have the guts to leave a name, guess you're pathetic like that?
DeleteEdmund: thanks =) nah, commenters like these make it interesting, I've got nothing to hide =) let them haters hate =P
There are a lot of mixed messages in this post... Just know that standing up for yourself is only the first step. It's not about reinventing yourself or making yourself into something that you're not, it's about learning to appreciate what and who you are and having confidence in that.
ReplyDeleteDon't spend time hating yourself because of the past or what people say, you're never going to look back and wish you had spent more time worrying about other people.
Be clear about what you want, and how you're going to get there. Don't let yourself be thrown around by the tide. Without a real goal in mind, if you encounter setbacks with your new attitude, you might just crumble again. Yes, definitely stand up for yourself! Just make sure you know what that means.
I wonder who you are, hmm, cause I'd love to talk to you about what you've said.
DeleteThank you for your inspiring spot on advise, I shall keep it in mind when the next tide comes by or now as I think of what my goal is =)