Journals to Nothing

I notice that I can't seem to journal on paper anymore. I used to ever so often, especially whenever my emotions got the best of me, be it bad or good. It has since stopped since 2 years ago. Hard to imagine how different things were back then & how it has changed now. I guess some things just don't go away & we've got to learn to live with it, just keep telling ourselves to shove it out of our system, to just keep moving forward and never looking back.

Anyway, I was talking about journaling. I guess in a way its good, because I didn't write in detail about the events that happened. I read it back now & laugh at how 3 posts talk about the same thing but very different aspects. How happy I was to how upset I was to how everything changed then nothing.

I feel like I've lost a part of me somehow & I don't know if its good or bad. Journalling is what carried me through the darkest days of my life & what kept me sane. But now, I struggle so much to write things down. Perhaps I've turned to blogging? In a small secret way, perhaps predicting that the internet might collapse one day & everything will be lost. All the memories & I wouldn't have anything to remind me anymore.

I have so much more left in me to say, but I'd better not. I think I've said enough for now. I guess I miss journalling? Sigh. This is what happens when late nights get the worse of me.