i feel like quite a wreck.
Earlier today, i felt happy, so happy that i could feel the sparks of happiness creep through my body and fill it with such warmth and good feeling. I was smiling to myself, grinning like a fool and i actually felt good about myself. I allowed myself to bask in that feeling for its been awhile since I felt that way, and i liked how i felt at that time.
Now I feel so lethargic and i feel like binge eating until the cows come home. I want to curl up reading my book and munch on cookies and cuddle up to someone who was sleeping. I feel like having someone to pamper me. I feel like watching a movie to relax myself.
Mandy, may I ask you something? Why the drastic change within a single day? Sigh.
Perhaps it was the awkward moment of someone trying to hit on me (or perhaps it was my assumption?=S) between those times. The lingering, the stammering, the creeping blush...I've seen it before, all too familiar to me. I felt like I was staring at myself for awhile, the awkward shy person trying to brave up and take courage. So yes, I do feel mean when I shut him up by telling him the truth. I am not accustomed to attention, moreover after what I've been through. I am not ready to jump back into the game or bandwagon or whatever you'd want to call it. I am not ready to be put up on the market again just yet because I don't think I have much of a market value. With the precious gem I am holding to myself, I am now priceless, whichever way one would choose to look at it.
Anyway, this post was really pointless, in other words, i just needed to vent. I guess bittersweet applies not to you anymore, it is me; I am the bittersweet one, thus whoever comes in contact with me or the events, things or situation surrounding me will then be bittersweet too. Such is life.
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