Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Perhaps the subconscious transferred over; the anxiety,the negativity, the hurt, the guilt, the confusion, the turmoil, the emotions.

Perhaps the touch aint gentle, too roughed up by the past, the intuition aint strong enough, the bond not thick or tight enough.

Perhaps my methods are all wrong. Perhaps I'm not cut out for my dreams. Perhaps I'm just terrible or horrible in nature.

Perhaps I'm too hard on myself. Perhaps its just nature. Perhaps I need patience. Perhaps I need gentleness.

Perhaps too many perhaps. Perhaps just leave all perhaps. Perhaps just let all perhaps live it out themselves. Perhaps it all needs time. Perhaps.

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Home Away From Home

I miss the routine
The busy schedule
Kept me occupied
Distracted my mind
Gave me confidence
And self-belief
I miss the freedom
The do as you please
As long as finished
And work was complete
The friends to talk to
And laugh and eat with
The presence of God
Security from within
The occasional counsel
The random assurance
The I miss home bug
Of calls and visits
My home away from home
Ironic how I really do miss you

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Shush kept secret

I'd never tell
But it hurts like hell
Ask me again
I'd tell you the same
Monotonous
Straight answer first
Truth kept hidden
Subject forbidden
Suppression or repression
Its the same generation
Never look back
Just forward on track
Time will tell
And break the spell
Support and love
And faith from above
Is all I'd ever need
To make ends meet
Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

long time coming

this was quoted by a girlfriend for my farewell gift before i left several months ago
i stuck it in my cupboard door and read it everyday
i guess you could say it gave me courage to wake up positively each day 

it gave me strength to stick it out and not miss home so much
it gave me perseverance to make the most of my time away
it gave me the chance to know myself and grow

i wasnt about to spend the rest of my life in the shadows
questioning wondering doubting regretting
instead i was going to take the risk
and make the life-changing decision that i did

to fulfill my lifelong dream

in the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson
i am not going where the path may lead me
instead i am venturing into uncertainty
a path of possible social damnation
but this path leaves behind a trail
one full of faith, hope and love
a trail of happiness and joy

people may scorn me

others may pity me
others still may love even more
but i do believe this happened for a reason
this is my calling in life
i was meant to fill these shoes
it wont be easy
but it would be so worth it

God has been by my side from the very first day
in all aspects He still is and continually will be
i love Him and He loves us
and with Him, all things are and will be possible

Have Faith! *winks*