rantrave

I have a feeling that this blog will end up to be a sad pathetic rantrave blog like my old one. Anyway, yes, here I am ranting again. I am supposed to update BunnyBlog but I don't want to blog in such a mood there, would rather blog in happier mood.

I am sad. Its hard, I don't tell anyone. I'm pathetic. I bet Mum would say shut up,stop blogging about things so publicly & move on. If only it were that easy. I've shut up before about worse things & it ate me alive. I will not put myself through the same thing again. Better out than in. I don't care who reads this or what people want to think or assume from this, I just need somewhere to vent. (PS: Mum wouldn't say shutup literally, she'd have more tact =P)

I don't know what to think about things anymore, nor do I know how to feel. I know I'm numbing myself again cause there are some things that hurt to look & I can barely stomach the sight or thought of it. I feel bad that I feel this way but hey, can't blame experience for the bitterness in me. As much as I'd love to harbor hope, its a dead forgotten pessimistic place for me now.

I really should get a grip on myself, rein myself in a bit more just so my fingers won't be so itchy as to torture my brain with a gazillion nonsensical rubbish. I really should try to be more positive & give out the happy aura, wouldn't want to be growing up in a bad influential environment now, would we?

Anyway, just so you know, this whole post is one of those sleepy lack of proper rest that led to emotional buildup dam bursting forth with tangled mess of thoughts post. Goodnight.... Yada-yada-yada...
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