of nuances and intuition

maybe its just me

maybe it really is true
maybe im too sensitive
maybe im too selfish
maybe im too paranoid
maybe i secondguess myself too much
maybe im just too insecure

i wouldnt say the things i want to say

i wouldnt ask the things i want to ask
thats why i rely on initiative and effort
compromise of the give and take
sacrificing myself of wants needs and desires
i dont ask for the biggest of things
i dont ask for the biggest of steps
the littlest one of mere presence
would be enough to go a long freaking way

i always believe in where "there's a will there's a way"

no excuses could come between you and the end-goal

thats why nothing makes sense anymore
ive been hurt to my very core
ive given up in hoping, my heart has grown numb
just been going with the motions
just waiting for the strength to give up
waiting for the time to quit
i cannot go on this way
something somewhere has got to give way
sacrificing my God is not how i play

today has been most upsetting

the tone of voice gave way
i know the circumstances
i tried to understand
but broke my heart into pieces
when word so scarce so abrupt
not only was there nonchalance
but gave up the chance too?
i could only facepalm myself
when realization hit yet no action took place
i would've appreciated a simple hi and bye
to comfort the insecurity
reassurance much needed
thanks for terms of endearment
but no effect did this time around

but fuck it all,
i dont give a damn
sooner or later
the regret would not be mine
i may not be the best cup of tea
but i could have been a really good one
if only you knew how to brew me the right way.

goodnight,
my heavy laden heart.
im sorry for all these mean stuff
im just terribly upset.
ask me not about it please?
for real, i dont want to talk about it.