Thursday, December 27, 2012

you, just you.

you are so messed up, its not even funny. what the hell runs through your mind? you think youre so damn great? think youre so damn strong? dont kid yourself! hell, you cant even read a book without quivering, cant even watch a tv show without wanting to curl up into yourself. you are pathetic. you make peopl think youre okay, make people think yuore sweet. you know better, you know how damaged you are, you know how things still affect you no matter how much you tell yourself that it doesnt. you are an embarrassment. you think youve got mad skills, when in fact youve got nothing than what was taught to you. you are a bloody hypocrite. you want goodness? what a joke. you want to do something about it you say, yet youre still sitting on your damn ass doing shit nothing. i hate it.

Friday, December 21, 2012

30 Day Shred Done!

So I'm done with the 30 Day Shred! WooHoo! Yes, i skipped a few days and ended up delaying it forever but i managed & I did it  & I'm proud of myself! 

The 3rd level was pretty hard and intense, i must say. Some of the moves looked and seemed easy, but because they were so slow, it made it more painful. The workouts were more focused. When i first started the Shred, i could barely lift a weight and i couldn't do a single push up. At the end of level 3, i could manage slight pushups on my knees and i could do shadow punching using the weights. 

Yes, I didnt lose any weight, nor did i lose any inches at the end of it all. What i did gain was a sense of achievement and a sense of pride over myself. I may not see the drop in numbers, but i do feel firmer, and i do feel more energetic. I dont find myself losing my breath so much. So yes, kudos Mandy! and here's to many more days off workouts to come! *goes in search of more workouts to try out*

Below are my Day 30 result photos, will post the previous photos side by side in the post to come.


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

If only...

...one persisted.
Credits to this tumblr

Monday, December 10, 2012

This I Promise You

Looking back, this is what I see:

So you say you're hungry,
I'd make sure that you eat
Even if just a morsel
Would make me really happy

I don't have all the time in the world
But I'd make the time for you
Even if just few minutes
To me, its better than not at all

I'm the type of girl
Who'd drop by without notice
Just to say hi and goodbye
And no, it ain't cause i'm paranoid
(cause i'm not like that)

You've got nights out without me
I need my alone time too
I don't need or want to be clingy
We need the space to breathe

So others give you multiple once-overs
Or you chat with other people
Don't expect me to be jealous
Cause I trust in you that you know your limits

I love and enjoy texting
Every second of every day
Even if i don't get a reply
Its just how i keep in touch

You like the lamb
I hate the meat
But for you,
I'd try it

You want that scene or that crowd
But I don't like it or don't feel comfy
For you, I'd grin and bear it
Cause that to me, is compromise

But, I won't cut ties with anyone
Just cause you don't like them
I won't stop doing the things i love
But I'd agree to meet you halfway

I'd be honest and say
I don't deal well with arguments
I am a bucket of tears
A tangled mess of insecurities

Most of the time I'd be whiny about me
I don't feel I look good
So if you can put up with reassuring me 24/7
(with sincerity of course)
Or help me build my confidence
I know I can/will be the best of me

If you can put up with being placed second
To my baby girl and everything else
If you can be rest assured that despite it all
Especially the timing according to me,
I'm there, I love you & I'd always make it up to you
If you can put my past behind me
I promise you I'd love you wholeheartedly
And there would be no one else for me but you
So take a chance on me? =P

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Out of Literature Into Reality

when one is Fifty Shades of fucked up,
one cannot hope for a Mr.Darcy,
no one in their right mind
would go for a Scarlet Letter
when they've got unblemished virgins to choose from

when one's past is as dark as Dorian Gray's
as colourful and tainted as Don Juan's
one cannot hope to be seen fit for dowry
perhaps a life to Becoming Jane
or bitter and spiteful as Ms.Havisham

so as much as it is fascinating
as much as it is thrilling
one know's one's status and background
only but a lowly humble servant
a shadow in the likes of a gentleman

oh how foolish one can get
with thoughts so fancy and fine
to wine and dance and dine
sketched and serenaded
such tomfoolery begone!