Monday, February 23, 2009

fell so hard

it all rushed by so fast
in the blink of an eye
i did it again

i fucked up again
like i always do
any chance if any never
shattered forever

my heart fluttered
and was broken
within these few days

sucks big time
to fall so hard
in love
to come crashing down
to hear "not me"

i heard it all before
the compliments
the propositions
the rejection
i brought it upon myself
i deserved it

in the end,
i only screwed myself
yet again.

 

(you're right, you're just too nice for a wild child like me)

Monday, February 16, 2009

Illusion of the Heart

i feel so silly
how could i have thought that way?
what was i thinking?
hope? no chance!

rose tinted lens
of the four letter word
clouded me
my vision, judgement and perception.

i should've known better
shouldnt have let it overcome me
you would never feel the same way
so why am i still hanging on? =(

.sad.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Unconscious Entanglements

Boredom in abnormal psych class
led me to an entanglement
a doodle of some sorts
what am i unconsciously telling myself?

Image010 Image012

Image002

if you notice,
my doodles are all cursive
very rounded edges,
despite it overlapping
which i think means im happy =)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

S.A.D. Valentine's

today is a s.a.d. valentine's day

bearheart

to all couples,
pamper your other halves
today is a day
unlike any other
a special day
to show your love
Happy Valentines!

to all singletons,
today is not a day of misery
not a day of loneliness
for while couples are splurging on others
you can pamper yourself
Happy Single Awareness!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I could get used to this

IMGP8479

i like the way it feels
to lean into your arms
to rest my head on your shoulders
to have you hold me close
and to have my hand in yours

you teasing me
and making me laugh
you complimenting me
and making me blush
us talking
gives me such a rush

i don't know if you know this
i don't think you do
the things you tell me about her
the way she wants you too
stirs the jealousy within me
making me possessive over you
which is something i shouldn't do

why can't it be true?
i feel like i'm yours already
couldn't we make it together?
i could get used to you
i feel like i already do

so forgive me
if i draw near and sink too close
if i hold you just a little while longer
if i want to see you more than usual

its cause i'm getting used to something
something i'm not supposed to
im getting used to you

IMGP8491

Monday, February 2, 2009

my hidden agenda

  heart

everytime you hold my hand,
do you feel the strain?
do you feel me holding back?
like i wish you never held it in the first place?

its cause
i wish to hold your hands tighter
i wish to hold it longer
i wish you didnt let go
but i wish you didnt know too
how i feel about you
so i make it uncomfortable for you to hold my hand

dontletgo

everytime you put your hands around my waist
do you sense my sudden stiffness?
do you sense my alarm?
as though you holding me was the worst thing in the world?

its cause
i would think i were yours
i would wish you held me closer
i wish you wouldnt let go
but i would laugh it off
then run away.

keepkiss

notice how im always clumsy around you?
how i lose my footing
i have a lot of Freudian slips
my voice seems a notch higher
i seem to laugh more
grin more

all this is because of you
because of how i feel for you
and i know you don't feel the same
i know its foolish mind games im playing with myself
but i love what i have
even if its nothing,
you make me feel special =)

happier

ps: don't worry, im not hoping for anything more ;)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

the perfect one...

closest to perfect you are
but one for me, you're not.

i know your type,
its one i don't fit.

little do you know,
how i feel for you;
even if you did,
i'd rather you not.

you're too good for me
im not worthy to be yours

you leave me breathless
and even speechless
lost in thoughts
jumbled in emotions

always falling for those i cant
i think its a curse..