Ice Queen

I don't take pity on beggars.
I don't winch when I see something or someone hurting.
I don't cry at the sight of human disaster victims.
I don't turn away at the sight of gut-spilling accidents.
I don't feel it in my heart if I see a child suffering.
I don't feel it anymore when I read true sad stories.

For that, you can call me heartless.

 

I don't give in to a person crying.
I don't soften my voice.
I can't seem to reason.
I stay firm in what I believe in.
I get over things fast.

For that, you can call me cold and emotionless.

 

I ignore problems.
I avoid confrontations.
I walk away from knots.
I shrug things off.
I push aside matters.

For that, you can call me coward.

 

After all I've been through,
this is what I've become,
And it is what I've learnt to accept,
I don't think its fair to drag another down with me.

I'd rather not.

Self-descriptors

A single girl,
recently broke up,
still very much in love with ex,
but circumstances calls for better off apart,
not ready for another relationship.

 

A supposed "intern",
currently on semester break,
self-taken break,
slaving part-time full time hours,
at a child development center.

 

A sister,
who is just getting to know her own brother,
forging bonds that never knew possible.

 

 
A broken girl,
trying to cope with rising depression,
trying to learn to trust again.

 

A daughter,
spending time with parents,
couldn't be more precious,
something never realized before.

 

 

A girl,
trying to live life to the fullest,
trying to understand self,
trying to find her footing,
and meaning in life.

 

Love, Mandy.

Parents these days...

I didn't realize the "kiasu-ness" of parents these days!!
Unbelievable!
I mean, how can parents bear to send their 1 year olds to school?
Shouldn't they have fun and explore at this age??
Instead of subjecting them to things they can barely understand?

okay okay,
I know the whole 'kids learn better, faster and more at a younger age" deal,
but is it truly necessary??
I feel so strongly against it =(

I mean, I understand if you really really need to,
then try to start them at 3 or something,
(even so, I really don't want to)
but 1+???
isn't it too young??

I hear kids complain they're constantly tired,
I hear parents rattling off the busy overcrowded schedule,
I mean, sigh, activities round the clock?
do they ever get family time?

where's fun and play time?
where's cheer and laughter?
instead of routine & schedules.

Hey, I say this is a serious matter,
one not to be taken lightly,
as you see more and more kids,
threatening suicide,
getting attached to the word stressed??
HELLO!! -kids aren't even supposed to know that word!

 

note to all you parents out there:
Watch the Nanny Diaries! You'd understand what I mean. I hope.

 

love your children.
let them have fun.
they've only got but ONE childhood.
don't take that away from them.

Driving

I never knew driving would cost you.

its been almost a year since I passed my test.

I just renewed it today.

only started driving seriously about half a year after passing.

its not easy you know.

mum made me practice by picking dad from the station. everyday.

now I drive all the time.
to and from friends' houses.
to and from college. every now and then.
to and from shopping malls. rarely.
now, to and from work.worst.

traffic jam after a long day at work is no joke.
very tiring.
sigh.. I've no choice.

oh well,at least I'm driving, right? =)

Some interesting driving facts about me:

• I reverse better than accelerating
• I hardly go above 80mph
• I suck at switching lanes
  (I'm very dangerous when it comes to this =P)
• I can now park almost any way! =) (greatest achievement!!)
• I haven't ventured in KL traffic yet (I don't dare)
  

The most eventful day

okay, so this is how my day today went

• Ashleigh calling me, about work =)
  • yes, I've now got a job!
  • so I start tomorrow at a kindergarten,
  • how great is it? I get to work with toddlers!! YAY!
    
• so, I watch L word season 3 episode 1 on my laptop while waiting for time to pass
  • it was 10.30am
  • I was going to wake my brother after for grocery shopping
    
• Miserable attempts to wake my lazy brother
  • shouting, screaming
  • pulling his blanket and pillows
  • shake him, push him, beat him
  • but to no avail
  • only to hear the sound of my voice and my brother's laughter when I was outside watching tv
  • the stupid donkey! recorded my voice on his phone =(
    
• Anyway,
  • my previous boss calls me
  • says that I have a job lined up in Kota Kemuning
  • =P so I guess I have to turn down one job offer eh?
  • sorry, no pressies for the lucky guessers..haha
    
• okay, so, proceeding on, once mister bum got ready
  • went to Subway for lunch
  • bro was so cheesed off with someone, and was surprisingly comforted in the very next moment by another
  • went photoshop, Giant & Chang Tung for necessities
    
• came home only to start helping mum with her cream puffs
  • yes, I baked =) finally- but technically did..
  • helped mum measure stuff and stir stuff and scoop stuff and stuff stuff
  • first & second batches turned out great, but third batch was misery =( didn't rise
    
• so yea, then the evening as follows:
  • sent all the cream puffs to respective people (drove)
  • picked dad from station (daily designation)
  • made hot dinner
  • washed dishes
    
• now blogging =)

The best weekend ever- Mother's Day

Remember I mentioned I had Mother's Day plans?
okay, so here goes about what happened:

On Saturday,
I rushed home from work,
bought kfc lunch & butter from giant,
wolfed down my lunch,
and started getting ready to make my surprise
choc orange truffles
I planned it so it'll be done by the time mum gets back from work.

she loved it.
and I couldnt be happier =)
ps: it was the first time I made something in the kitchen, without supervision! =))

On Sunday,
bro was supposed to get up for breakfast in bed for mum,
but he slept on,
went to church,
planned with dad to get mum out of the house after church,
at least an hour
for bro (and a little of my help) to make lunch for mum

even that turned out =)
she was really surprised.
btw, it tasted yummy! hurrah for success!

sunday evening,
we went to Italiannies for dinner,
we had a wonderful meal,
recapturing our surprises for her,
only to surprise her BIG TIME
- with a scrapbook! =)
ps: pix will be posted up soon!

she literally teared up in the restaurant.

we earned bragging rights the following days =)

 

I love my mummy! =)

of past and future

I know I haven't posted in awhile...

Lets see, what have I been up to? =P

exams are over. =)) So I MERDEKA !

 

I would be deferring 1 semester
--> the World Youth Day in July [Finals would clash-smack in the middle]
--> look for part time job till June/ August maybe?.

Boss said they don't need me to work Saturdays anymore
--> currently part-time jobless too
--> but boss said would try to find a position for me elsewhere
--> hopefully it comes true!
-->don't want to end up bumming around for nothing.

went for Li Shen's birthday celebration
--> the bf is so romantic i tell you!
--> the works: surprise dinner, gifts, flowers, matching tees, cake..sigh..*jealous*
--> had fun, finally managed to catch up with the rest, spilt a secret =P
--> ALL the Best for those sitting for finals this week!

need to come up with Mother's Day idea for this Sunday
--> scrapbook?
--> DIY card?
--> cook? *omg, no way! would be a disaster*
--> sigh, I'd just have to find a way...

 

on the last note,
-> for those who read my past blog posts, the emo ones, I'm sorry to have worried you. It was not my intention. I was just having a rough week with myself and was helping myself release the tension by blogging! =P but seriously, Thanks so so very much for caring!! =) means alot to me!!

Love, Mandy <3

my biggest setback

when I start something,
I get really excited about it,
everything just seems,
unbelievably too close perfect,
no flaws can be found,
nothing could ruin the perfect image I've set in my mind.

I just look forward to it,
it seems so exciting,
so enthralling,
something I could stay committed to.

then, it happens.

everything starts crumbling,
exciting unexpected-
becomes a rigid routine,
dull and boring.

it always happens to me,
I can't commit myself to something for long,
even if I do,
I wouldn't enjoy it,
I would be doing things without my will.

That's my biggest setback,
my biggest fear to get committed to anything,
for I know,
I can't hold on for too long.

 

*a note to love: keep outta my way, I don't want to hurt others no more.*